“And if you do not carry your own cross and follow me, you cannot be my disciple. But don’t begin until you count the cost.”
— Luke 14: 27-28
In one of my favorite writings by C.S. Lewis, he challenges us to count the costs of following Jesus. Are you really ready to do this “almost impossible thing” and “hand over your whole self” to Christ?
In Roman culture, condemned criminals had to carry their own cross to the crucifixion site for all to witness. It symbolized the criminal’s submission to Rome and served as a public warning to others to submit. When Jesus told us to pick up our cross and follow Him, He meant that we were to identify completely with His message (Luke 9:23-24).
But He also warned us to count the cost of following Him (Luke 14:25-30). In speaking to the crowds, He wanted them to think through their enthusiasm for Him. Was it real or superficial? Were they ready to totally submit, or was gathering with the crowd just a good place to be? Jesus wants us to know that following Him will come with a cost. It might mean giving up control of our finances, time, and career. It might jeopardize our social status or wealth. We might be hated and separated from family and friends. For many disciples then and now, it can mean persecution and even death. Jesus wants us to count the costs, so when trials of this world come, we won’t be tempted to turn back.
Many of His early disciples decided they couldn’t pay the cost (John 6:67-68). Some left because they expected an earthly king
would come to save them from their oppression by the Romans. Jesus didn’t live up to their expectations or give in to their self-centered requests. Others found His teachings were difficult, even offensive. How often are we tempted to do the same thing? We want to follow Him, but at the same time, we want to be stay comfortable, unchallenged, secure, and undisturbed. We’re afraid of what He might do, or what He might require of us. We want to protect our present life at all costs, because we know following Him could lead us to unknown, unsafe, or even dangerous places! Quite simply, we want to live on our own terms. And let’s be honest: for most of us, it’s really hard to accept that our human effort accomplishes nothing (John 6:68).
When the Lord asked the Twelve if they were also leaving, I think Peter spoke for us all when he said, “Lord, to whom would we go?” And I’m convinced that in choosing to “hand over your whole self” to Him, there is no middle ground. We can dip our toes in the water, but sooner or later, we have to jump in. We are either true seekers, choosing to turn our hearts toward His, allowing His grace to pick us up when we fall and fail, and slowly, lovingly mold us into the child He created. Or else we’re dabblers, faces in a crowd of superficial believers, satisfied with being a Christian on our terms, rather than His. But His ultimate goal is guiding us to perfection; not what we desire ourselves to be, but what He intended for us to be when He made us. If we continue to protect ourselves from the discomfort God calls us to endure, we will never fully experience His power and the life He has promised.
I hope you enjoy the wisdom of C.S. Lewis. It will bless you, but it also might challenge you. It might even make you uncomfortable. And that’s a good thing.
Counting the Cost by C.S. Lewis
“The terrible thing, the almost impossible thing, is to hand over your whole self–all your wishes and precautions–to Christ.
“Christ says ‘Give me all. I don’t want so much of your time and so much of your money and so much of your work: I want You. I have not come to torment your natural self, but to kill it. No half measures are any good. I don’t want to cut off a branch here and a branch there, I want to have the whole tree down. I don’t want to drill the tooth, or crown it, or stop it, but to have it out. Hand over the whole natural self, all the desires which you think innocent as well as the ones you think wicked–the whole outfit. I will give you a new self instead. In fact, I will give you Myself: My own will shall become yours.’
“When I was a child I often had toothache, and I knew that if I went to my mother she would give me something which would deaden the pain for that night and let me get to sleep. But I did not go to my mother–at least not till the pain became very bad. And the reason I did not go was this. I did not doubt she would give me the aspirin; but I knew she would also do something else. I could not get what I wanted out of her without getting something more, which I did not want. I wanted immediate relief from pain, but I could not get it without having my teeth set permanently right. And I knew those dentists; I knew they started fiddling about with all sorts of other teeth which had not yet begun to ache. They would not let sleeping dogs lie. If you gave them an inch they would take a mile.
“Now, if I may put it that way, our Lord is like the dentists. If you give Him an inch, He will take a mile. Dozens of people go to Him to be cured of some one particular sin which they are ashamed of… or which is obviously spoiling daily life (like bad temper or drunkenness). Well, He will cure it alright: but He will not stop there. That may be all you ask; but if once you call Him in, He will give you the full treatment. That is why He warned people to ‘count the cost’ before becoming Christians. ‘Make no mistake,’ He says, ‘If you let me, I will make you perfect. The moment you put yourself in My hands, that is what you are in for. Nothing less or other than that.’
“Whatever suffering it may cost you in your earthly life…whatever it cost Me, I will never rest, nor let you rest, until you are literally perfect–until my Father can say without reservation that He is well pleased with you, as He said He was well pleased with Me. This I can do and will do. But I will not do anything less.’
“The goal toward which He is beginning to guide you is absolute perfection; and no power in the whole universe, except you yourself, can prevent Him from taking you to that goal. That is what you are in for. And it is very important to realize that. If we do not, then we are very likely to start pulling back and resisting Him after a certain point. I think that many of us, when Christ has enabled us to overcome one or two sins that were an obvious nuisance, are inclined to feel (though we do not put it into words) that we are now good enough. He has done all we wanted Him to do. And we should be obliged if He would now leave us alone.
“But this is the fatal mistake… The question is not what we intended ourselves to be, but what He intended us to be when He 
made us….
“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you know that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of–throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself!